First year of marriage

I never realized the first year of marriage was a big deal until my mentor reminded me of it. ⁣

He said most marriages fail in the first year because the honeymoon phase wears off & you start to see who you really have as a partner. You’ll also start to see all the issues you should have included together in your vows (most people don’t learn this during their courting phase & certainly not their engagement process).⁣

Lindsay & I have had a great whirlwind of a relationship the last three years & especially in the last one being married. So much has gone on, aside from simply cultivating our relationship. Here’s a few: we've decided not to have kids & instead focus on our relationship, expanding our careers & lives & traveling; all things Covid; Lindsay's dad unexpectedly passing away; aging parents; familial issues; buying a house in LA’s hot market & moving in with each other; the list goes on.⁣

& still, having said all that, I don’t find it particularly unique, it all just seems normal for me.⁣

I always knew intimate relationships can bring up a lot of issues for people & I certainly learned throughout the years that they did for me. However I never really thought much about the first year actually being a thing.⁣

Before meeting Lindsay, I was notoriously single for a long time. Thirteen years to be exact. & it was a time where I navigated a ton of difficult things without a partner. So, to say the least, I’m practiced in finding my way with life stuff. Now, I have the privilege of having her help navigate it all together. ⁣

I’m beyond grateful I met her to go through all of this life with; it still continues to sink in how fortunate I am.⁣

Since I was around 29, I’ve been on a kind of healing journey. I’ve learned many things along the way. I learned to clearly see what I struggle with, without having a partner making it difficult to see what was mine & what was hers. This is a concept I’ve noticed many couples struggle with in my work: what’s mine, what’s yours, what’s ours. ⁣

Now that I’ve been married, I get to see a lot of the healing I’ve done throughout the years & put into practice while having a partner.

It continues to be eye opening. & so does continuing to see what’s mine, what’s hers & what’s ours!⁣

Like I said, intimate relationships for me, are a place where my “noise” & issues reveal themselves. Cheers to finding our way together.