When we commit to something, we’re also committing to all the things we’re not going to do … and with that comes a sense of loss.
Even if the thing that we’re committing to is positive or has benefit for us, it will still bring about feelings of grief & loss.
For example; leaving a position for a higher paying opportunity with more upward mobility sounds great, however what comes with that is leaving friends, co-workers, possibly moving your home & a change of familiarity in routine.
Making a commitment to lose weight by eating healthier & replacing TV or going to the local bar with going to the gym or taking a fitness class is admirable. However, feelings of grief are sure to rise, as you take notice of how far out of shape you fell. You may also find yourself losing friends as many who still remain out of shape might not necessarily share the same enthusiasm … they can often feel threatened by your new sense of commitment that they can’t seem to muster for themselves.
How about your commitment for taking yourself off the single “market” by having fallen in love with a new lady or gentleman, only to come to find out that a couple of your friends don’t seem so enthusiastic about your new found love. You realize that the “silent contract” you seemingly made with them was unknowingly broken by having this new found love taking your attention, & all the time you used to put into making sure you kept those friendships going has shifted.
Next time you find yourself feeling bluesy after making a commitment, just know that it’s normal & healthy to experience both sides of the coin; a swelling of pride for your newly created commitment, as well as a myriad of feelings you never expected to accompany it. Expect feelings when you commit to anything.