How do we find our way after some kind of loss in our life?
The quick answer is, the best way we can & know how. I was thinking about following up on my last post about the loss of #Kobe & it has me thinking about how people can move forward in a healthy way after experiencing loss like this & many other things in their lives. For me, moving forward meant that I needed to move my emotional self & not just my physical life forward; I needed to heal from all the emotions that ensued from the event that I experienced. It wasn’t just about burying myself in some physical thing like work or whatever else, where I could hide my feelings in order to keep my mind busy, emotions occupied & even detached; it was about how I could get in touch with all those feelings, move toward them, embrace them, acknowledge them, heal them & simultaneously bring them with me along the way. For some, they think they don’t want to re-live or experience the painful feelings that came from the painful event by talking about it or feeling it again, however not looking at them, does not ensure that you’ll never feel them again. To the contrary, you can be sure to keep re-living them, because of your refusal to acknowledge them – what you resist persists. Remember, the body never forgets, & what I mean by saying this is that any unhealed trauma or feelings will continue to be present in your body & your wounds will continue to show up in your life whether you realize it or not. People come to me, so I can point out how unhealed trauma continues to show up for them, making success in certain areas of their lives, difficult. Having said that, when someone moves toward discussing & healing all the feelings that trouble them, a liberation starts to happen simultaneously; the relationship they have with the painful event starts to transform & with that, comes liberation, insight & clarity for a new direction for your life. No, it’s not an easy path, especially depending on the magnitude of the loss, but neither is the alternative. When you shut down feelings, you shut down clarity.
There’s two types of people regarding this topic: there are those like me, where my evolution is hooked up to & affects every aspect of my life, making it vital for me to look at how I’m struggling emotionally & how it affects every part of my life. And then there are those who seem to “get away” with not needing to heal on an emotional level, but still “seem” to “succeed” in some facet of their life. Don’t be jealous of these people, at some point, a tipping point happens & all those unhealed feelings & trauma they’ve decided not to deal with, will show up in a devastating way. To all those struggling with the loss of #kobebryant or for any other reason in their lives, my heart is with you. I urge you to find someone to help you find your way & to learn how to create with all those feelings & to create a meaningful life for yourselves. Maybe what you learn from healing yourself in this way can even help others with some of the same things you’ve experienced; that’s what I’ve done. Sometimes just knowing how others have experienced similar things to those things we’ve experienced, gives us hope … & that’s a good start.