13 years

In my previous post, I shared about my love coming into my life several months ago ... but why did it take 13 years?

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek & find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Rumi

The above quote by Rumi encapsulates the kind of work & journey I’ve been on during this time. For many years, I’ve healed & reconciled many deep things within myself that needed attention. Without going into the details of all of the specifics, it also included healing traumas of my past, as well as being unconscious when it comes to having fears within intimate relationships & family.

All of us have “noise” or a kind of fearful mind chatter that shows up in different categories of our lives: Craft, Career & Money, Intimate relationships & Family, as well as Health & Body. We all have “noise” in different categories that become portals to giving us insight into our issues, vulnerabilities & insecurities; & Intimate relationships & family is one of mine.

It takes work to tackle all the areas we hold trauma within ourselves that prevent love, money & whatever else from coming into our lives. And regardless of what you’ve read or been taught, trauma is not something that ever goes away. It’s something we choose to stop running from, & instead, we decide to run toward it & transform our relationship with it. Doing this kind of intensive work can eventually cause our traumas to alchemize & become our biggest contributions, rather than constantly being a deficit & bane of our existence.

Healing trauma is some of the most rigorous work one can do in this lifetime. It’s most likely the reason that people seldom change or transform their lives; its not easy to face our fears & shame. However, if you’re struggling in an area of your life & you’re not sure why, it’s a good chance that unhealed trauma is at the source of it.