48
I’m turning 48 this Wednesday, May 13th & I am thinking deeply about the kind of guy that I am & the man I’m working on becoming.
For those who know me well, these times of contemplation are nothing new, however every once in awhile, it’s next level & this is one of those times.
Before I go further, I’ll tell you that this post is about taking the time, like I am now, to deeply consider who you’re being, & the kind of person you’re desiring to become, which includes all the actions & shifts you’ll need to make in order for you to get there.
It’s not easy to sit in this space, although, the benefits & results are what I’m looking for, not the feeling.
I’m acknowledging my past, with all the trials, tribulations & the work it took for me to overcome in order for me to get to this great place in my life. During this time of Corona, it’s helped to provide more solitude & silence, without a lot of distraction, so I can dig deeper toward the kind of clarity that I am striving for in order to envision the man & life I’m looking to create.
You would think, getting this kind of vision for our life & self would come easily, but for me, it can take a little effort, especially when it comes to certain areas of my life where I find it a bit more “noisy.”
In those areas, that we tend to have the most fear or “noise”, you’ll find it’s more difficult to have clarity in those same areas. For me, intimate relationships & family is where my anxiety reveals itself & it’s one of those subjects that’s currently on my mind.
There’s nothing wrong with being single & not having been married yet in my life; I don’t think I would have created or achieved all that I have if I had been. Looking back on my past & knowing what I know about myself & what happened, it makes sense why I have the things that I have & the kinds of things that I don’t; you can only know those kinds of things looking back. I acknowledge why my life looks the way it does & now is the time that I decide what I want to create by continuing to commit now so that when I look back 5,10,15 years from now, it will make sense why my life looks the way it does.