Coaches, healers & therapists aren't perfect

Some people look at us & judge those aspects of ourselves & our lives that are vulnerable to us, but what they don’t realize is that their judgment says a lot more about them, than it does about us.

What they don’t realize is that the way they treat or talk about us, especially regarding our sensitivities & frailties, is exactly how they talk to themselves about their their own stuff.

The way people talk to us, is exactly how they talk to themselves. Most good coaches, therapists & healers already know the areas they struggle in-you’re not pointing out some great revelation. The way you come at us, tells us a lot about your relationship with your own shame, trauma, insecurities & sensitivities.

It also says a lot about how you grew up & the way you were spoke with as a young person. This was put best by my mentor, who said “the weapons that were used on us, we use on ourselves & others.” Think about that one.

One of the differences that puts us in a position of credibility, beyond our skills in being able to help people heal things, is our relationship with our shame, trauma, insecurities & sensitivities is different than yours is. Most people’s relationship with it all is about distancing themselves from it or beating yourself up for it - ours is not. Ours is about moving toward them & getting into those areas & changing our relationship toward it.

Our awareness about those things & there impact on our behavior & life is not new. For most of us, we’ve let go of a lot of the shame that comes with those things. Instead of being tough on ourselves like most people are about their shameful stuff, we’ve worked through a lot of those feelings & have a different relationship with it; one that’s filled with more love & understanding about it. I don’t care who we’re talking about, regardless of how rich, famous or beautiful, everyone has struggles with shame & some kind of trauma just like the rest of us.

So the next time you ridicule others for things they struggle with, remember, it gives us way more of an insight into who you are & how you feel about yourself than it ever will about us.