How do you know you have unhealed shame & trauma?

Where you have unhealed shame or trauma, you’ll have difficulty in manifesting, as well as other related issues, so identifying these places is vital. Below is a list of prompts that might tip you off to some of those areas you might be holding on to both.

You avoid that subject whenever possible. You don’t bring it up, you don’t study it & you certainly don’t like it when others bring it up.

You have strong reactions when the subject comes up: reactive, argumentative, anger, fear, anxiety, terror, fatigue, boredom, sadness, melancholy, brain fog, dense, confusion, embarrassment aka shame. It can cause you physical reactions in your body: sweating, clammy hands, red face, increased heart rate, numbness in the body or sides of the body, clenching certain parts of the body especially with the parts specifically related to the traumatic event. Specific body parts & organs struggle with function based on the storing of emotions related to the trauma or shame; the parts can also relate to specific spiritual & emotional issues : the liver & clenching the teeth related to rage & resentment, the belly storing worry, the trapezium carrying burden.

You say things like: I can’t believe I ..., why did I, I should have known better, why do I keep ..., If only I did this I wouldn’t be dealing with ___, why do I have to be like this, I’m sick of having this or being this way, If it weren’t for this I’d have this or be that ... etc. etc. Friends, family, coaches & therapists continually bring up specific communications about you that are repetitive.

It’s not so much about getting rid of shame & trauma, as much as it’s important to be able to identify all the areas where you have it & then work to transform your relationship with it so you can go from being a victim to having it, to you having it in a way that becomes a contribution in your life.